The Quickest Way to Get Rid of a Cold
by Aelotia
Summary: ...is to give it to someone else.


AN: **Pointless** piece of LJ fluff. No HBP spoilers whatsoever. Kinda like one convo I put in WSWSTG. I can't remember which chappie though.

Speaking of WSWSTG, I need an opinion or two. Should I keep WSWSTG in two POV's or just Lily's? I'm currently revising it, and would appreciate opinions!

ON with the fic!

DISCLAIMER: I want Harry Potter. I don't own him, but I want to.

The Quickest Way to Get Rid of a Cold: Deerfluenza and Tomatositis 

"Ppbbbthx"

"Ew Prongs!" Sirius Black said as he dodged a used tissue.

"I'm misserble." James Potter said miserably.

And he had every right to be miserable. For he was as sick as an old dog.

But that didn't bother him; his friends were going to escort him to the Hospital Wing during break.

The thing that got to him most was the fact that today Lily Evans was free to roam wherever she liked and do whatever she wanted for an entire period.

That just wasn't just!

But to top off James's lack of Lily, his runny nose, and coughing, there was…the sneezing.

"Ah…Ah…Ah…AHCHOO!"

And not just any ordinary sneezing.

Before you knew what was going on James was replaced in his four-poster with a large stag. Almost immediately he transformed back.

That wasn't the only weird thing.

Another was that James had a sudden craving for acorns, urges to run headfirst into hat stands and coat racks, and a sudden possessiveness over Lily Evans.

Well…that last one was pretty normal…

"What is your diagnosis, Healer Moony?" Sirius asked as he threw James another box of tissues.

"I conclude it to be deerfluenza. A cold deer generally get from regurgitating their food and chasing after redheads." Sirius and Peter burst out into a fit of laughter, but James remained evermore surly.

"Ha Ha. Very Funny. Just to let you know I'll make it a job of mine to hack into every one of your pillows when you're at class. You deserve it for your insensitivity."

"Right, Prongs." Remus said, but then muttered 'He's finally lost it' behind his hand.

Sirius smirked and said, "Well, Prongs, We'll be sure to be back in time to take you to the hospital wing…and, don't worry I'll look after Evans-dear for you." He winked, and the three un-sick Marauders left James speculating whether they were to be trusted.

He shrugged and turned onto his side to get some rest.

Eons Later…

(More like seconds)

"C—Cold…" He shivered to the empty room. He wrapped his blankets tighter around him.

"D—Dammit." He decided lighting a fire in the common room would soothe his chills.

He wrapped a blanket around himself and hopped down the stairs.

When he reached the common room he was shocked to find a fire already blazing…

Happily, he jumped onto the sofa right infront of the fire.

It only took him half a second to realize he was sitting on something else…something hard…something…alive.

Startled, he fell onto the floor and scrambled back up.

The site before him was frightening.

The couch was on fire.

No…wait…

There was a giant tomato on the couch.

No…No…It was Lily Evans.

It was easy to see how she could be confused with a fire and tomato, for she was red from the roots of her hair to the tips of her toes.

Her red hair was even redder than usual, her lips were rosier, and her cheeks made it look as though she was almost smothered.

Which is true, seeing as how James had plopped himself right ontop of her face.

"Potter?" Lily asked weakly, squinting like an old maid.

"Evans? What happened to you?" He asked in a concerned way, trying to hide his shock.

"Did you stay out into the sun too long?" He added.

"W—what are you doing here?" She said, nasally, deliberately ignoring his last inquiry.

"I wanted to warm myself up by the fire." He coughed. "I'm sick." He stated obviously, settling himself on the floor. "Deer—I mean—uh—the flu." He let the heat of the fire warm his backside.

Lily snorted. "The flu? The great James Potter caught the flu? I was under the impression a muggle sickness couldn't infect such a magical icon."

"Yeah well…what abou' you? From the looks of it you got…Tomatositis." James smirked, and Lily scoffed.

"Sod off, I wont have it for long. I'm going to the Hospital Wing later." She said.

"Right…" James lifted himself up and made to take a seat next to Lily.

She irritably pushed him back onto the floor.

"Don't go making yourself cozy." She said as she crossed her arms.

"C'mon Evans. Don't you know the quickest way to get rid of a cold is to give it to someone else?"

Lily closed her eyes and rubbed her temples while mumbling something like 'Of all the idiots to be alone with…'

And then James felt it.

A sneeze was coming.

He panicked.

"Ah—"

"Ah—"

"Ah—"

"Kew!" He withheld it.

For a brief moment James's hands turned to hoofs.

"Bless you." Lily said, opening her eyes.

"Thankx." He said, hiding his hands behind his back and changing them back.

"So—er—what kinda cold _do_ you have?" He asked, ogling at Lily's red ears.

"Dunno. But I have to admit…I do look like a tomato." Lily furrowed her brow when James snickered.

"Well, at least I don't look like I regurgitated vomit." She huffed as she stared at James's paleish-green face.

James made a small 'eep' sound.

They sat in silence. James coughed several times and Lily sniffed repeatedly.

Suddenly, James stood up. "I'm going to go upstairs. You can have the couch. I—uh—hope you feel better." James gave a small smile and pushed up his glasses.

"Wait." Lily grabbed his wrist and yanked him onto the couch next to her.

"What?" James asked staring at her red face, wondering whether the redness in her cheeks was from her odd cold or blushing.

"I guess, we can share the couch if you want."

"No, that's alright. I think I'll just sleep this cold off." He made to get up again but Lily held him down.

Lily hesitated before saying, "I once heard the quickest way to get rid of a cold is to give it to someone else."

James gave her a befuddled look, before she swiftly captured James in a lip-lock.

James was caught off guard for a moment, but returned the kiss as soon as he was able to conceal two antlers that had popped out of head.

They stopped abruptly when they heard the portrait hole swing open.

A group of Gryffindors piled in and stared at the two, who were on the couch gasping for breath.

"H—h—How dare you, Potter!" With a 'hmph' she stormed upstairs the girl's staircase as though nothing intimate had just happened between them both.

But before she did she took note of how she suddenly tasted acorns.

James sat there staring blankly the empty space between himself and lily.

"Up you go, Prongs. Do your moping later, we've got to go get you cured." A faint voice called out to James.

And he absentmindedly was escorted to the Hospital Wing.

-

James awoke the next morning with a stuffy nose.

"Wha da…I thod I wuz cured."

He lifted himself up from bed wearily and dragged himself towards the bathroom.

He scratched his head, and put his glasses on.

And then he Screamed.

He stared wide-eyed into the mirror, for his usually jet-black hair was flaming red.

And as he examined his tomato-like self, he was completely oblivious to the fact that somewhere, Lily Evans was having a shock of her own…

**I'd love it if you reviewed!**


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